And the Two Became One…
Last week I had the great honor of performing the wedding of my good friend from high school; Olga and her fiance, Willie. When she asked me if I would perform the ceremony I began asking her all kinds of questions. I wanted to know what she wanted in her wedding ceremony. That’s when Olga told me something very dangerous. She told me that she was leaving it all up to me.
She just said they wanted something simple and that she trusted me to perform the ceremony however I wanted. No problem! I could do that. There would be no walking down the aisle, no music, or a unity candle involved. So as their wedding day approached, I began to tie up loose end for their service and I wanted to include something special for them. That’s when I remembered something I had done in a wedding years ago. I had used a reference of 2 colors of clay coming together to represent two becoming one flesh. I had thought that might be good to the service. The day before the wedding, I was putting the finishing touches on the service by including the illustration with the 2 colors of clay as two becoming one when I had the idea of actually showing this process during the wedding. I went to the store, bought some modeling clay, and began figuring out the timing to see if I could finish it before I was done sharing the illustration. It worked perfectly!
So during the wedding I pulled out the two colors of blue clay, twisted them together and started kneading them together so that they were blended together. As I kneaded the clay together, I told them: “If I were to kneaded them together until they were truly and thoroughly blended; you would see just one lump of blue clay at least at first glance or from a distance. Upon closer inspection, you could see the distinct and separate lines the 2 different colors of blue clay, yet it would be virtually impossible to separate the clay back into 2 pure colors again. That is an image of what it means for a husband and wife to become “one flesh”.” Once I was finished kneading, blending, and molding the two different colors of clay into one lump of clay, I handed it to them in the shape of a heart as reminder that they are now one flesh.
Truth is, marriage isn’t easy, and it takes work! There are so many things that go into a successful marriage. When two people are working together as one with understand, respect, compassion and love, then most things can be worked out. When we are working within the context that I am one with my wife, then I have her best interest and the best interest of OUR marriage instead of what is best for me. One of the many reasons why the divorce rate is so high is due to the fact that married couples are no longer working as one. Big problems happen when one person in the marriage tries to separate themselves from being one flesh. This is called selfishness. And it will destroy a marriage! Just like the blue clay heart, if I were to try to separate the two colors of clay from each other it would be destroyed. It is completely impossible to separate the husband and wife without destruction. I have witnessed this first hand and the aftermath is devastating for everyone, not just the husband and wife. It also affects everyone that is around them.
As I handed them the clay heart, I was reminded of my own marriage and my wonderful wife, Holly. It caused me to pause and think about the things I need to work on in becoming one flesh with Holly. I believe there are always things we can be doing to help us grow in our marriages. Sometimes we just need a physical reminder as to what it means to be one in marriage. Maybe we need a clay heart of two colors to remind us what marriage is all about… As a matter of fact I think this might become a permanent part of all the marriage ceremony that I do in the future.
What was special about your wedding?